Monday, June 15, 2009

Playful Parenting

We've been really busy this month! On May 27th we finalized the purchase of a home in Hollywood. Due to the FL real estate boom/ bust the house was quite affordable to us, didn't need all that much done beyond a kitchen and superficial cosmetic work, and was on 1/3 acre of land (huge for an urban area down here). Renovating and readying our new house for the June 30 move has kept us plenty busy....Haim doing or supervising all of the work, and me organizing all of the logistics of permits and design (I got the easy job) As a result of all of the activity, and about a month solid of (much needed) rain curtailing Haim and Maya's regular afternoon swims, Maya has not been spending very much time with him. This definitely affects their relationship and how connected she feels to him....as a result she tends to be intolerant of him and frequently lashes out at him, rebuffing his advances of attention and play.
Yesterday Maya and I spent a lovely, sunny day at a pool about 1 hour away, while Haim worked in the house. When we pick Haim up and came home around 6, Maya was passed out in the car. When she finally woke up around 8 she was rather surly...particularly towards Haim. Both Maya and Haim had enjoyed afternoon naps, but I had not, and as a result I was particularly tired. Maya was snacking through dinner, and wanted something from the kitchen...but only I could get it for her. I was laying down and Haim was already in the kitchen, so he began to lay out her desired food. From the other room I listened as a crisis began to build...Maya screaming and lashing out at Haim, him responding in kind...I was cringing inside, but I don't like to butt in too much when he is parenting her, so I remained quiet. After about 45 seconds of their back-and-forth aggression, he roared like a lion, became the Salami Monster, and started chasing and ticking her. I think his unexpected about face surprised her and caught her off guard, and she began to play with him. They both returned about 5 minutes later munching salami and cuddling....and spent the rest of the evening drawing together and playing, while I went to bed early.
What could have been a really ugly scene resulting in her in tears and him feeling grumpy and rejected turned into a way for them to reconnect...he realized who was the 2 year old, that he had the power to alter the mood, and that he did not really want to travel the path of conflict with her. It was a great parenting moment for him and I was thrilled to have left them to work it out together!

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